The first week was wonderful! It was fun and exciting and I couldn't wait for my puppies to join me. I didn't mind that Greg had to go into the office the day after we got here because I was ready to brave the new world!
That lasted for about 7 days. We moved to a different hotel that would allow pets - it was a Hilton resort, but the room was small, furniture old, and bed UNCOMFORTABLE! But, I didn't care about any of that because I had my babies to look forward to.
The day after they got here, I realized how crappy this "resort" was and the culture shock hit me like a ton of bricks! I immediately became depressed and homesick. I am not a person who normally cries easily, but I could not turn off the water works. I was like this for days-which totally freaked Greg out. In the 10 years we have been together, he has never seen me this way. I was crying so much that I was hyperventilating and vomiting. I could not sleep at night and had no appetite. I started questioning our decision to move over to the UK and hoping that I would wake up and it would all have been a dream. I was not myself and niether Greg or I knew what to do about it. Greg offered to send me back home and he would stay here and work-but there was no way I could do that. My husband is my best friend and the center of my life. I would never know how to live away from him and wouldn't ever want to.
So, he started doing some research and found out that I was experiencing a severe case of culture shock. It's an actual psychological illness. I had always heard people talk about it but I didn't realize it was a legit thing. And to be honest, since we were not moving to a 3rd world country AND since we were so eager to move, I didn't think it would be a problem.
There are five stages of culture shock and I think I have finally worked through the worse ones. I got this from http://moving.about.com/od/internationalmoves/a/culture_shock.htm
Symptoms of Culture Shock
Signs and symptoms of culture shock are:- a feeling of sadness and loneliness, (had it)
- an over-concern about your health,
- headaches, pains, and allergies (had it)
- insomnia or sleeping too much (had it)
- feelings of anger, depression, vulnerability (had it-BAD)
- idealizing your own culture (ooooh yeah! had it)
- trying too hard to adapt by becoming obsessed with the new culture (pfft!)
- the smallest problems seem overwhelming (check!)
- feeling shy or insecure (double check!)
- become obsessed with cleanliness (yeah right)
- overwhelming sense of homesickness (definitely!)
- feeling lost or confused (yes!)
- questioning your decision to move to this place (a doozy!)
The Culture Shock Model
Step 1: The Honeymoon Stage
Like any new experience, there's a feeling of euphoria when you first arrive to a new country and you're in awe of the differences you see and experience. You feel excited, stimulated, enriched. During this stage, you still feel close to everything familiar back home. Step 2: The Distress StageEverything you're experiencing no longer feels new; in fact, it's starting to feel like a thick wall that's preventing you from experiencing things. You feel confused, alone and realize that the familiar support systems are not easily accessible. (the homesickness begins) Step 3: Re-integration StageDuring this stage, you start refusing to accept the differences you encounter. You're angry, frustrated and even feel hostile to those around you. You start to idealize life "back home" and compare your current culture to what is familiar. You dislike the culture, the language, the food. You reject it as inferior. You may even develop some prejudices towards the new culture. Don't worry. This is absolutely normal. You're adjusting. This is actually a pretty common reaction to anything new. Think back to when you started a new job or moved to a new house or a new city or when you moved in with someone. Any adjustment can cause you to look back in awe and wonder why you made the decision to change. This stage SUCKS!! and I was completely crazy! Step 4: Autonomy StageThis is the first stage in acceptance. I like to think of it as the emergence stage when you start to rise above the clouds and finally begin to feel like yourself again. You start to accept the differences and feel like you can begin to live with them. You feel more confident and better able to cope with any problems that may arise. You no longer feel isolated and instead you're able to look at the world around you and appreciate where you are. I think I am here! Step 5: Independence StageYou are yourself again! You embrace the new culture and see everything in a new, yet realistic light. You feel comfortable, confident, able to make decisions based on your own preferences. You no longer feel alone and isolated. You appreciate both the differences and similarities of your new culture. You start to feel at home. Can't wait to be here!! :)
So, once I read this and realized what I was going through was normal and seeing what it was doing to my poor husband- who was not only starting a new job, but also dealing with adjusting himself AND constantly worrying about me- I knew I could get myself out of it! I had my amazing husband, my puppies, and most importantly I knew that Jesus always has my back. When Greg was at work and I was lonely, I prayed. When I was shy and scared to be around or talk to people, I prayed. When I was too nervous to go out by myself, I prayed. When I wanted my mommy, I prayed. When I was homesick, I prayed. When I saw my husband was overwhelmed and needed me to be strong, I prayed. And day by day I started to feel stronger. Yes, I still miss my sisters and I miss knowing EVERYTHING about my surrounding and where I live, but it no longer feels like a pain that I can't overcome. I feel lucky-most people experiencing culture shock are depressed and sick for months. I knew that could NOT be me. I promised my husband that I could do this and I was NOT going to let him down! He accepted this opportunity to make our life better and to be a better provider. The experience is not one that everyone gets and I am not going to be what keeps him from it.
so, I made myself talk to strangers - which even at home is not something I am comfortable doing. I went out by myself. I went to the gym A LOT and signed up for classes. I learned how to drive - which even when I was back at home, looking forward to moving, I told Greg I would NOT be doing while we lived here!! I found organizations to join like American Women in Aberdeen. I sent out my resume and applied to be a Supply teacher (substitute) at the international school. I took the puppies exploring around the city and the MANY parks and trails.
So besides the obvious (missing family, job, etc) these are the some things that drive me cray cray over here.
1. Aberdeen is the Energy Capital of Europe - that being said and considering the hundreds of thousands of foreigners who are here on work visas from ALL over the world, you would THINK that it would be easier to get settled. There are SO many hoops you have to jump through to get a home, bank account, car, etc.
2. Since there are SO many people coming in and out of this city - MODERNIZE IT!!! Take advantage of all the people and the potential money they could bring!
3. The hot and cold water come out on two different sides of the faucet, so its hard to get not too cold, or not too hot water.
4. The basic TV is AWFUL! To get good TV, cable is a MUST! Even locals hate their own TV and say the only good shows are the American shows.
Things that I like about Aberdeen:
1. They LOVE dogs here! My puppies can go everywhere with me!
2. Even when it rains, it is BEAUTIFUL here!
3. My bum is getting hard and my waist is getting smaller bc I have to walk everywhere!
4. There is so much history here and places to visit
5. I get to travel through Europe!!!
I know I haven't fully transitioned, but as each day passes I feel like I am getting stronger and more independent. I thank God that I wake up and go to sleep happy and beside my husband every night. I thank Him for the technology we have so that I can talk to my family any time I want to and for sisters that set me straight when I need it. I thank Him for allowing us to be able to send my puppies over to keep me company. I thank Him for my loving husband who tries so hard to make me happy and is allowing me to go home and visit as much as I want. And I think Him for giving me the comfort of knowing that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillippians 4:13
PS: The tights underneath the shorts IS a "fashion trend" eek!
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